Pain, Love, Loss, and Transformation: My Journey to True Happiness

Life is shaped by moments of pain, love, loss, and transformation. For me, these moments came in waves—sometimes crashing down, other times lifting me to a place of growth I never thought possible. I’m sharing my story because I know how hard it is to feel stuck and hopeless. But I also know the power of choosing to change, even when the weight of life feels unbearable.

In my early 20s, after two miscarriages, I spiraled into depression. It felt like life was throwing me obstacles I couldn’t overcome. But then, we adopted a beautiful baby girl. Aidaen came into our lives at just seven days old, and I believed that everything would be okay. What I didn’t know at the time was that she was battling something deeper. Mental illness was in her biological family, and we were completely unaware. By the time she was in Grade 5, self-harming thoughts had taken root, leading to hundreds of scars and, later on, an addiction to prescription pills. What started as a way to cope with her overwhelming emotions quickly spiraled out of control.

Aidaen made multiple attempts to end her life, the first being an overdose on my antidepressants. When I asked her why, she said, “I saw how happy they made you, and I wanted to feel the same.” Those words hit me hard. On the outside, I seemed like I had it all together—successful career, family, a strong work ethic—but on the inside, I was miserable. Medication wasn’t making me truly happy; it just made me more bearable for others to be around. Aidaen had often seen my unhappiness, frequently telling her dad, “I just want Mom happy.”

One month before her 15th birthday, Aidaen passed away from an overdose. It was the most painful moment of my life, but it was also the turning point. I couldn’t keep living the life that others expected from me. Months after losing her, we opened Aidaen's Place Youth Wellness Center, a safe space for youth and families in our community to get the support they need. That decision changed my life, but it was just the beginning of my transformation.

Soon after, I retired from my role as CEO of our family business. It had become a shadow of its former self, and I knew it wasn’t serving me anymore. Walking away from a six-figure job with security and benefits was terrifying, especially since the youth center had no operational funding and I wouldn’t be paid for at least two years. But I had to do it. For the first time in my life, I was following what my heart knew was right.

In the midst of running Aidaen's Place, I found love again. My ex-husband and I had divorced after 26 years, realizing we weren’t in the right place anymore. But we’ve remained best friends, supporting each other through everything. It’s a gift to have him and my new partner, two of the most important people in my life, get along so well. The healing and love that came from these relationships are incredible.

But even after finding peace in love, family, and the youth center, I was still missing something. My heart was still connected to business and leadership. Then, I stumbled upon the opportunity to teach workplace education initiatives and leadership workshops. It filled the last missing piece of my puzzle. Helping others build their businesses and leadership skills was far more fulfilling than just making money for myself. I was doing what I was meant to do.

My journey into resilience coaching happened naturally. After losing Aidaen, several of her friends took their own lives in the following years. Parents, teachers, and family members started coming to me, asking why we were losing so many kids. I didn’t have the answers, and that feeling left a hole in me. But I wanted to help. I wasn’t interested in becoming a therapist—I needed something that could make an impact now. That’s when I discovered coaching, and I haven’t looked back since.

This blog isn’t just about my story. It’s about choice. It’s about the power we have, even in the darkest times, to make decisions that change our lives. After losing my daughter, choosing to divorce, and continuing to fight depression, I made the decision to put myself first. I started doing things that made me happy. I found kayaking, fell in love with nature, and even got over my fear of the dark while camping in the deep woods. Vulnerability brought me growth, and that growth saved me.

I’m here to tell you that no matter what you’re going through, you have a choice. If you want things to change, you have to be the one to make it happen. No one is coming to save you. If you keep waiting for someone else to fix things, you’ll drown in the overwhelm of life. At 43, I took a risk. I put myself first, and it made all the difference.

If my story resonates with you, whether you’re a parent, a teen, or someone struggling with loss and overwhelm, know that I’m here to help guide you through it. Resilience is built in the reality of life’s challenges, and together, we can create a life worth living.