"What's Wrong With Kids Today?"

"What's wrong with kids today?"

This is a question that makes my blood boil and my heart ache every time I hear it. However, I've learned to be comfortable speaking my mind, and I no longer hold back.

"YOU are what's wrong with kids today. YOU, ME, society..."

Stop blaming the younger generations for everything that is wrong with our world today.

- Lack of work ethic

- Stagnating workforce

- Skyrocketing youth suicide rates

- Social media addiction

- Massively increased levels of youth depression, anxiety, and declining mental health

...and the list goes on.

If we all look in the mirror, we will see exactly who has caused this sad state of affairs for our youth.

- WE have failed them

- WE have led them into depression

- WE have made them think suicide is their only answer

- WE have failed to teach them how to be resilient.

In my past three years of studying resilience, I can clearly see the exact moment when the light bulb went off, and I realized why so many youth in our community are dying by suicide; including my 14-year-old daughter, Aidaen.

When we were young, we were given opportunities to experience loss, disappointment, independence, and growth - all of which are essential to learning sustainability, problem-solving, and resilience. I think our generation made out pretty darn good, didn't we?

So why are we so hell-bent on ensuring our kids have everything they need to have an easy life without needing to experience loss or disappointment? Why do we feel that cell phones and staring into digital space for hours and hours each day is a sound replacement for exploring nature, getting their hands dirty, and enjoying bugs?

Some people feel this goes back to the 70s when women started working and both parents became tied to their careers more than their family values. I'm sure there is some truth to this, but I also see many families that are flourishing. Some with both parents working and some that only have one parent, and that parent is burning the candle at both ends.

In my case, I blame a lot on society allowing work to become a priority over family. I blame our generation for letting our careers determine our worth. I blame myself for seeing the destination but not the journey.

As a parent to an angel that is no longer on this earth, I want to give you a few pieces of advice that can save your child, save your family, and start reversing the damage WE have caused.

#1 - Take cell phones and social media away from your kids until they are at least 16. Nothing good will come of allowing it to continue.

#2 - Set cellphone boundaries for yourself and your family. NO text, email, or phone call is more important than the person standing in front of you fighting for your attention.

#3 - STOP trying to fix your kids' struggles before they've had a chance to fail on their own. All you are doing is setting them up for failure later in life. This is NOT your job as a parent.

#4 - Force your kids to make choices. Yes, they can join 5 sports teams, go to a friend's every weekend, and take in 3 clubs at school, but what is this teaching them? It's NOT teaching them how to compromise or set boundaries.

#5 - TikTok is not a life skill. Our kids are graduating high school without knowing how to form a complete sentence, use a washing machine, or change a light bulb. Do you want them living at home for the rest of your life?

I learned the hard way. I lost my only child 5 years ago, and I miss her every day. Every day I see where I went wrong, but nothing I do can ever bring her back. This is the fate of our world if OUR generation doesn't wake the hell up and start fixing this mess we've made.

Check your priorities. Having kids is not a right or a badge of honor. It's a miracle that takes a lot of hard work and dedication. It means putting their every need ahead of your own your, and ahead of your career. It also means teaching them every skill possible so they can leave the nest to live an incredible life of growth and independence.

If you can't give your kids everyring they need to grow and flourish, YOU are the problem, not them.